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Friday, September 30, 2011

Changed Perspective

I was a teenager when my cousin Jordan was born. As Jordan grew from preschool to preadolescence I would observe her to be an endearing but demanding child. Jordan had a host of small idiosyncrasies that individually were minor but collectively made her a handful. It was not uncommon for Jordan to end up in her parents' bed or function on her own eating and sleeping schedule. I quietly wondered why this cantankerous little girl behaved the way she did. And silently I vowed not let my own child shape our days and nights with such command.

Through the years I continued to quietly build my portfolio of child rearing opinions. I wisely concealed my sometimes ignorant views. Nevertheless, I banked my thoughts. Nearly two decades after my cousin Jordan was born, I was blessed to birth my own child. Ten days after my son Watson's delivery, he began to exhibit colicky behavior. Watson's discontent seemed to increase rather than diminish as he turned 10 weeks and then ten months old. Watson never acclimated to a schedule. Feeding regimens were abandoned in pursuit of relief that only a bottle would provide. Attempts to implement sleeping routines failed as Watson awoke often and unhappy. At eighteen months he began vomiting when he became especially upset, which included bed time. My husband and I resorted to less than ideal sleeping arrangements in desperate search of rest. Most of my parenting choices went against any text book instruction. Coping was my goal.

Through Watson's first two years I experienced all the looks I recognized. Friends, especially those who were already parents, sometimes verbalized their body language by offering advice. It wasn't uncommon to receive a well-meaning but poignant email from a friend who had spent time with us and felt "led" to share their opinion on the problems. Parenting books frequently appeared in our mailbox. My feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment mushroomed.

I too had begun my parenting journey with the same goals and ideals as my friends. I read all the books and consulted my pediatrician until he was tired of seeing me. Watson seemed to struggle more than any book or friend could explain. I started avoiding acquaintances and social gatherings and especially if Watson was with me. I tried my best to keep our difficulty under wraps. And when pieces of reality escaped concealment, I would joke "I don't think he'll serve prison time over" and I would fill in the blank with "bottles after age one," "crazy sleeping arrangements," or "his lack of schedule." I smiled through many hard conversations as I listened to unasked for and usually uninformed advice. In the meantime, I felt something must be wrong with my child.

Just as Watson turned two I was nearing an emotional and physical breakdown. During a church small group gathering I candidly shared and cried. I was exhausted. I started my long diatribe with: "Please don't give me advice. There is nothing I haven't already heard or tried." The women listened without judgment and then prayed for me. The next morning one of the ladies from the small group called me to say "you are not crazy." She explained that she was a pediatric occupational therapist and asked if I had ever heard of sensory integration disorder. She recognized Watson's challenges and peculiar habits as possible signs of this neurological disorder.

For the following months we slowly walked a course leading to answers and relief. My occupational therapist friend assisted in obtaining a referral and diagnostic assessment. Watson was soon formally diagnosed with the sensory seeking type of sensory integration disorder. Simultaneously he was diagnosed with sleep apnea as well as being severely lactose intolerant. After a change of diet, intense occupational therapy, a formal sleep study and ensuing tonsillectomy, our lives changed dramatically. Within six months of my occupational therapist friend's phone call, Watson slept in his own bed through the night and lost a whole host of bad habits. His regular daytime behavior changed noticeably. Our life began to feel manageable.

Days after Watson's S.I.D. diagnosis, my aunt, Jordan's mother, called me. She explained Jordan grew up with what today would be recognized as S.I.D. as well as severe allergies. My aunt and I laughed and cried as we compared notes and understood each other in a way we knew few others would. And I felt tremendous hope. Jordan was now an accomplished, college bound freshman who was very possibly one of the most enjoyable people I knew! Indeed, maybe my precious son would avoid prison, as I had joked for the past year!

Now at age four, Watson is a happy and healthy preschooler. He is a different child. And since overcoming over two years of sleepless chaos, I am a different friend! My patience is longer with most people in my life, and especially other moms. Recently while in a mall I observed a mother gingerly handle her preschooler daughter's temper tantrum. I caught myself forming judgment on this mother's parenting. I quickly reminded myself that I didn't know what battles had been fought earlier in the day or what developmental obstacles the child may possess. Not too long ago I passively handled mad-fits in order to prevent Watson from vomiting. I reflected and offered a silent prayer as I watched this mother from afar. If there was one, key learning in my hardship with my son, it was that judgment is fruitless. I now make a point not just to conceal an opinion but not to form one at all! Most parents in my circles are bright, independent, and informed people. They know conventional wisdom and genuinely care for the well-being of their children. What they need most from me are prayers and compassion, not opinions or advice.

Originally posted on AtlantaAreaMommies.com
Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Organizing Kids' Rooms

Let's face it, where there are kids clutter is sure to follow. Kids are natural born hoarders whose rooms are notorious for being a cluttered mess.  At times you may have even wondered if a tornado just ripped through there or if perhaps the place was possibly burglarized while you were loading the dryer. One never knows. As much as you'd like to, you will never completely eliminate the clutter. But, there are a few things that you can do to get it under control and make life much easier for everyone.  Avoid the impulse to tackle this project all on your own, instead use this as an opportunity to teach your child responsibility and the basics of organization. The time you invest now will pay huge dividends in the long run.

Step One: Clear The Clutter!
The very first step towards bringing calm and order to the chaos is getting rid of the clutter. Start by sorting through everything in the room and remove as much as possible that doesn't NEED to be there starting with the floor. Well...you do NEED the floor, but you get what I mean.
I find that using three large bags or boxes marked donate, trash, and keepers works well for making quick work of this step. Just grab the item and toss it right into it's new home. Yeah, we can see a floor again!

Step Two: Stow The Stuff
Now that you've cleared the clutter, step two involves organizing and storing what's left using kid friendly storage items such as bins, bookshelves, clear containers, cubbies, hooks, etc. Every item will need a place to call "home." The key here is finding an easy system that's right for your child and will motivate them to be and stay organized.
If you find that even after the big purge your child still has too many toys and books or you just want to limit the amount of stuff in your child's room in general, rotate them. Just pop a few of them into a box and stash them away. After about a month or so, pull them down and trade them out. Rinse and repeat. They'll get a real hoot out of re-discovering their "new" old toys.

Step Three: Maintain Order (No, really)
Ok, so now that the hard part of clearing the clutter and stowing the stuff is out of the way, it's time to set some simple ground rules to help make staying tidy and organized a part of each day. In addition to the usual "put it away when you're done," I find that having a "Morning Pick-up
Routine" and an "Evening Pick-up Routine" really helps us a lot.
This will help them to stay ahead of any messes that would have otherwise accumulated during the week making it one large project to tackle over the weekend. That's no fun! Speaking of "staying ahead of messes," here's a tip inside of a tip. Set up a "Donation Station" in a place where everyone has access. Whatever works best for your family, a hall closet, laundry room, garage, etc. Whenever family members come across something that they no longer want or use, it goes into the "Donation Box." When the box is full, drop it off at your local donation center.
Your family will benefit in 3 ways:
1.) You enjoy a less cluttered home
2.) You help other families
3.) You get a tax deduction (be sure to ask for a receipt)
Everyone's a winner!
Don't worry if your child's bedroom doesn't exactly look like a page torn from the latest Pottery Barn Kids catalog. (A girl can always dream right?)  That's not the goal. What's important is that they learn to be responsible for their own things. A valuable lesson that will serve them well for years to come.

Originally posted on FrederickMommies.com
Monday, September 26, 2011

Menu Monday - Balsamic Roasted Artichokes

Balsamic Roasted Artichokes

Ingredients:
2 whole fresh artichokes
1 can reduced sodium chicken broth
5 cups of water
1 Tbsp. Olive Oil
1 Tbsp. Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 Tbsp lemon juice

Cooking Instructions:
1. Wash artichokes in cold water.
2. Snip off sharp points and trim the stem.
3. Cut artichokes in half length-wise.
4. Carefully cut or snip out the spiny inner leaves and remove the "choke" completely.
5. Place in a bowl of water with lemon juice to avoid browning.
6. In a large pot, combine chicken broth with water and bring to a boil.
7. Boil covered artichokes for 20 minutes.
8. In a small bowl, mix olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper.
9. Remove artichokes from pot and baste them on both sides with the oil and vinegar mixture.
10. Place artichokes cut side down on a grill set to medium.
11. Turn after 5-7 minutes and baste again.
12. Pour remaining mixture into the cups of the artichokes.
13. Cook an additional 5-8 minutes, careful not to char the artichokes.
14. Serve hot with or without dip.

Submitted to The Mommies Network recipe database by "Eileen"
Friday, September 23, 2011

Bowling For Sanity


My mom visited this past week (a whole blog on its own I assure you) and of course, when the ‘rents visit, we try and do something extra throughout the week for fun. One of the activities we did this week was to go bowling. Now bowling sounds like a safe, friendly thing to do with kids. I thought so. I mean, I used to take Zavi once in a while when we lived back in Mass and we never had an issue. So what could possibly go wrong bowling with 2 more kids added in and a grandmother? Oh. My. God.

To anyone who may be reading this and was at the bowling alley the same time we were, I am so sorry. I hope Ashe did not erase your computerized game thingy. I tried to keep him away, I really did. But that bugger is fast!

We got the Citi guide coupon book a few weeks ago and I saw you could get one game free of bowling. So on Zavi's early release day from school we piled into the car and drove to the local bowling alley. The older boys were excited, Soren was passed out in a drunken stupor, and my mom and I had high hopes. Bowling! Yay! Fun! Good times!!! We park the ginormous minivan (I'm getting better at parking that monster!) unload the kids in less than 5 minutes (a new record!) and head on in. And that’s where all hell broke loose.

You see, Ashe hates loud noises. He went to the fireworks this past July 4th and freaked out. I mean FREAKED! The whole time he sobbed yelling "FIREWORKS ALL DONE ALL DONE DADDY FIREWORKS ALL DONE" for the entirety of it. Stupid me, I didn’t even think that the sounds of bowling would mirror that of fireworks. Crap. And it’s dark in there with the black lights going, the music bass thumping and vibrating the floor. Ashe took 2 steps in and froze like a deer caught in headlights. And then started shaking. And I couldn’t take him home. J was working on a huge project and I had promised Zavi we would do this. He had been looking forward to this for weeks with Grammy. So I gave the car seat with Soren in it to Grammy, picked up Ashe, and cuddled/dragged him to get our shoes and lane. I had this thought that maybe I could get him used to it in time and he would be ok. I kept whispering "its ok honey it’s not fireworks (Yeah can I get shoes in size 8 kids, 13 kids...) Mommy’s here I won’t let you go (adult size in 8 and 10? Lane 4? Great...) I promise you are safe and ok, it’s not fireworks, no we can’t go back to the van sweetie (Here's my card.... can you hold the top so I can sign?... thanks) sweetie stop kicking Mommy that hurts...no I won’t put you down..."

After finally hauling 4 pairs of shoes and a squirming screeching two year old to our lane, waaaaay on the other end of the alley, I tossed shoes at Grammy and Zavi and took Ashe toward the back. Holding him I calmly told him how much fun bowling is, how he gets to choose a few really cool balls, and try to knock down things without getting yelled at. It took about 10 minutes of constant soothing whispers with a few thrown out yells to Zavi (Hang ON! I'll get the computer set up in a minute... ask Grammy...oh Grammy you don’t know how to do it? Dammit... ok hang ON!) until I could get Ashe to accept sitting on my lap closer to the bowling lanes. While Zavi went searching for the perfect ball, and Grammy took forever putting her shoes on, I tried figuring out the technological savvy computer to set up our game with a squirming two year old clinging to me like we were going down with the Titanic.

So after working the computer one handed, and everyone is ready to go we start bowling. Zavi goes first. And he does pretty darn well (with the bumpers on). Next up is Grammy. She also bowls well (with the bumpers on). Then it's Ashes turn. I ask him if he wants to roll the ball and he says YES so I stand up. To which point he grabs my shirt and clings so hard I’m afraid my cleavage and then some is apparent for all to see. Hauling him up and my shirt back into place, I waddle over to the bowling ball stand and ask him which color he wants. He points to a blue one, of course, 36 pounds. I pick it up with Ashe still stuck stronger than superglue to me, and slowly make my way to our lane. I put the ball down, wrestle to get his chubby STRONG fingers off my shirt, and gently show him how to roll the ball. He screams, throws himself on the floor and begins to cry. I sit down next to him; ask him if he wants to play. After a minute he agrees, wipes the tears from his eyes, and allows me to help him. We get a good roll going and he stares fascinated as the bowl rolls towards the pins, taking eons to make it there. But they go down and his face lights up and......

He’s hooked.

By our 6th round, Ashe has taken over my game, Grammys game, and his own. We found a child roller which helps little kids roll the balls down better. He would whip it into place, point at me to put his ball down, then shove it hard (rolling over my fingers a few times...OUCH!) and jump up and down screaming for joy. When it was Zavi’s turn, he would run to any computer in sight and start jabbing buttons (Sorry!!!!) If he wasn’t doing that he was running to put his head by the bowling stand where the used balls were racing back. I swear he came close to having three concussions in 15 minutes, despite my frequent attempts at keeping him far away from the darn thing. And Soren, my precious baby, was an angel. He slept for almost the entire thing. If he was fussy I just think I would have lost my mind.

Walking out afterwards, everyone was in high spirits. Except for me. I was happy the boys had a ball in the end (no pun intended) but all I could contemplate at that moment was how much tequila I had left in the freezer and how big of a margarita I wanted. I figured I earned it and then some.

Submitted by Brittany (Rhaven) of TriangleMommies.  Originally posted August 23, 2009 on Suburban Rebel Mom.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Beware of Turtle

I have a soft spot for turtles. Though I recognize that it's based purely upon influence, I like to joke that it's hereditary. My mother had red-ear sliders from childhood till college. My sister has had a chinese box turtle since 1989. We were stewards of four precious young desert tortoises in the early 90's due to an over-breeding at a wildlife center. Turtles, lizards, and snakes...oh my! I have an affectionate fascination with all of them and I'm passing it on to the next generation.

For years now I've been encouraging my children to stop and smell the flowers, watch the ants, observe a spider, contemplate a wasp and photograph a butterfly. I point out vistas, pastures, yards, gardens, trees, hawks, vultures and livestock as we travel about on errands and road trips. I teach them to observe the wildlife but not harass it; including the vegetation. They are great about letting me know when they've happened upon something nifty and taking me to it for discussing, identifying and recording.

My husband, on the other hand, will collect it and bring it to me. Such was the case with Snappy.

One sunny Sunday afternoon in April my dear husband was standing in the doorway of our outbuilding when, marching across the driveway in front of him at its full one-inch of height was a hatchling turtle with a tail twice as long as its body. Being fully aware of my turtle amore' he plucked it up and brought it inside for identification as he'd never seen a turtle with such a long tail (we both originate from the left coast).

It was a very young common snapping turtle and we started browsing big-box stores online for a terrarium to keep it in, then opted for CraigsList to find a used one instead. Snappy didn't have time to wait for somebody to communicate via email so we put the turtle back where he had been found and ten minutes later discovered another terrarium, with a phone number. Scooped Snappy back up (he hadn't gone but a couple inches in all that time) and discussed it further; finally returning him AGAIN to the spot in the driveway where he'd been sighted. Snappy took the cue and bolted for the direction from whence he'd come. Twice picked up, once shy? Perhaps we've unintentionally ensured that he'll not venture into the populated portion of our property in the future.

In hindsight, had my dear husband been as well-trained as the kiddos, keeping Snappy would never have been an option; and I admit to being embarrassed that we'd ever considered making a pet of a wild critter. Wwe'd resisted the temptation with other wild turtles. I suppose it was the draw of an extended science project: the ability to observe a turtle growing up and learning about their habitat more personally as we attempted to recreate it within captivity, but with wild turtles there is no returning them to the wild when you get tired of them or when they become unmanageable. Once you start keeping them you have to keep them till their end. If you try to return them to their natural habitat they most likely will not survive and they'll be taking your germs. Call to mind the devastation on native tribes by early settlers. Same story with wild critters turned pet, and later returned to the wild.

That said, I still get tickled over the mental picture of a '˜Beware of Turtle' sign at the top of the driveway. Perhaps we'll install one anyway, and have the satisfaction of perplexing our neighbors as well as a conversation starter that this is not our habitat alone.

Originally posted on AlamanceMommies.com
Monday, September 19, 2011

Menu Monday - Berry Salad with Yogurt

Berry Salad with Yogurt

Ingredients:
1 cup no-fat/low-fat vanilla yogurt
1/4 cup honey - any kind will do
1 to 2 tablespoons milk (as needed to thin dressing)
cinnamon and nutmeg to taste
4 cups of Berries -Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, etc.
fresh peppermint leaves, whole or finely cut

Cooking Instructions:
Wash, stem and sort berries. In a small bowl combine
yogurt and honey and whisk together. Add cinnamon and
nutmeg and whisk until well incorporated. Add milk
until you reach your desired consistency. Place berries
in serving bowls and drizzle the yogurt dressing over
the top. Garnish with mint and serve immediately.

Submitted to The Mommies Network recipe database by "Heather"
Friday, September 16, 2011

Eating Out and Saving Money

Are you like me and do you find yourself eating out a lot with the family? We don't do it that often, but in this summer heat and the crazy busy weekends we tend to have we find ourselves picking stuff up out and about more often than we normally would.

So while sometimes I make sure to hit the grocery store for a full and complete shopping trip, recipes planned for the week ahead and all (because honestly there's nothing easier than tacos and frozen pizza - sometimes!), there are other days where I find the money sliding out of my account more quickly than I can imagine.

And I am always looking for ways to save, so I figured I'd share some ideas with all of you ...

First and foremost, it's essential to look for those Kids Eat Free deals. It's not always the place you feel like eating at, but if you can do it - DO IT. Chick-fil-a on Tuesdays has kids eating free, and did you know that if you trade in your kids' meal toy they get an ice cream? And it's not just a small tiny scoop, either. It's the real deal. Last time we went kiddo got her choice of toppings. I mean, seriously? How can you beat that?

I know that places like Moe's also have free kids night, as do Backyard Burger (newly advertised!), and Twisted Fork has kids eat free after 4pm on Sundays! And oh my goodness, for those weeknights when it's just too danged hot to cook? Torero's Mexican Restaurants have kids eat free Monday through Thursday nights! What? That's insane. But totally amazing news!

Fat Daddy's has a great 99c kids' meal which is large enough to feed an adult, honestly. And most of these places usually have child-friendly entertainment at their locations, as well, to keep the kids busy while mom and dad eat their dinner.

Another way that I tend to save money is my trusty CitiPass book. There are loads of coupons in there, and there are also plenty that I don't use. So I try to approach local moms (especially on TriangleMommies) and we do lots of coupon swaps. So if there is a restaurant in Holly Springs I likely won't get to, and there's one closer to me you won't see, either, we can make an excellent trade and I'm going to happily go there and get one entree for free after I purchase the first one!

This next suggestion might not work for some places, but I have the best find in buying myself a kids' meal at Pei Wei. They have no problem with my purchasing the kids' chicken lo mein, which actually tastes better than the adult one (less odd spices, I guess) and is way cheaper. It's a smaller serving, but it suits me just fine, and I recommend considering it for yourself, as well. Places like Cracker Barrel will also serve adults off the kids' menu, for no extra charge. What a steal!

And an option for those who might want a smaller serving and find themselves not in the mood for leftovers is to ask if you can order a half order/plate. I do that at IHOP all the time as I'm usually not going to get myself four large pancakes for breakfast. And pancakes don't reheat all that well after hanging out on the plate for a bit. And if a half-serving doesn't work, why not check out the a la carte menu? Restaurants like Bob Evans have that available and you can order that way any time of the day.

Now I know some of these places may be local to me, but there have to be opportunities to save this way by you, too. Just look into the details. Don't be afraid to ASK questions. These restaurants want you to take advantage of these deals, because it's going to bring you back and have you ordering your grown up meals for yourself, and maybe even a drink or two!

So head on out ... and be sure to report back on your findings and experience. It's info we absolutely NEED to share with one another. Because seriously -- in this heat -- who really wants to turn the oven on every night?

-- NOT ME!

Andrea blogs regularly over at http://goodgirlgoneredneck.blogspot.com - she is a SAHM who enjoys reading, writing and lots and lots of ice cream! You can also find her on twitter @goodgirlgonered.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011

How Do Scientists Make Watermelon Flavor?

It is a summer time favorite -a venerable taste of the season. I have loved the taste of these big delicious red and green melons since I was a kid! The experience is unmistakable-with the juices that run down your neck and the seeds you can spit easily because they are slippery-the flavor unmatched. Or so I thought.

The first candies I tasted with watermelon flavor were way back in the mid 1980’s, Jolly Rancher Hard Candies. I was amazed at the flavor, the color and the smell -oh the smell! However great this new candy tasted, I was ultimately disappointed in the lack of subtlety of the candies’ flavor that can only be found in the fruit itself. It was then that I knew right there in the middle of winter, there would just never be the perfect watermelon flavor to whet my appetite. I tried, though. I tried many times to find it. It never was found.

Today, I sit eating a scrumptious piece of the real fruit and I think back to that moment. And, I wonder why. Why couldn’t there be the perfect blend of odor and taste to bring this fantastic delight to me in the wintertime? Well, besides having the watermelons flown in from the southern hemisphere.

I got to work. I looked up natural versus artificial flavors. I looked at histories and chemistry notes. I think I might have the answer.

It all starts with a chemical compound called an “ester”. A chemist can find these esters by boiling down or deconstructing the very fruit, or other natural element, into the chemical components that make it up. Then, when taking the water molecule out of such so that it breaks down even more into a compound made up of the reaction between an acid and an alcohol, one finds the ester.

These esters are the basic building blocks of taste and scent for the flavor. The ester for an orange flavor is called octyl acetate (CH3COOC8H17). The “octyl” is the alcohol and the “acetate” is the acid. So, by adding these esters to a product’s ingredients, the product will taste like an orange. Well, at least to some degree.

I did some further digging and found out that my precious watermelon flavor used to be based on a strong belief that alcohols were the main contributors towards the aroma. The study by some chemists at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign actually found out that a watermelon’s ester, the one that can smell like fresh cut watermelon, is identifiable but not stable enough to flavor anything. It breaks down too quickly. These chemists worked on the problem but found that if you used the ester, nicknamed “watermelon aldehyde”, and bonded it to a synthesized “backbone”, the result still wasn’t good enough to be a suitable replacement for the esters on the market now.

This process goes for every flavor you can imagine. The chemists find the esters. The food producers add the ester compounds to the products. The public figures out if the product does taste like the food producers want you think it tastes. And, we all happily go about our business.

Of course there is a huge debate whether these artificial flavors are a good thing or a bad thing. This follows along the same lines as the debate on artificial colors or news of the development of the Local Food Movement. These ideas will have to be addressed in other blog posts. In this article, I just wanted to find out “why?”

As a result of all my research, here we sit, with a mock watermelon flavor that just cannot satisfy my cravings for this summer fruit during the summer. The real thing is still the best! But, it might just do in a pinch come Halloween!


Written by Adea for the TriangleMommies Blog, part of TMN. All rights reserved. July 2011.
Monday, September 12, 2011

Menu Monday - Fish, Veracruz Style

Fish, Veracruz Style

Ingredients:
6 tablespoons oil
1 no. 2 1/2 can tomatoes, chopped
1 teaspoon sugar
3 teaspoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1 clove of garlic, crushed
1/2 teaspoon grated orange rind
Salt and pepper to taste
1 onion, chopped well
6 - 8 red snapper fillets
1 small can pimientos, chopped coarsely
2 tablespoons capers
One 3-oz jar green olives, pitted and chopped coarsely
Parsley, fresh, chopped as a garnish
3 boiled potatoes (optional)


Cooking Instructions:
Heat 3 tablespoons oil in heavy skillet. Combine the tomatoes with the sugar, chili powder, allspice, garlic, orange rind, salt, pepper and onion. Blend well and simmer in oil for about 10 minutes, covered. Coat baking dish with remaining oil. Put the fish in baking dish; add the pimientos, capers and olives to the tomato mixture and pour over the fish. Bake in a moderate (350 degree) oven for about 30-35 minutes or until fish flakes easily when pierced with a fork. Sprinkle with just enough fresh parsley to add a little color.




Additional Comments:
Serve the potatoes on the side or some people prefer to add cubed, hot, boiled potatoes to the fish during the last 5-7 minutes of cooking.

Submitted to The Mommies Network recipe database by a member
Friday, September 9, 2011

Enjoying a Subsequent Pregnancy After the Loss of a Baby

June is the month that my first little girl passed from this life, so it always brings me bittersweet memories. There is a lot of love to go around and it may be hard to remember after a child dies that there could be love in a memory as well as love for a new child.

After coming to the realization that your little one is gone, getting out your anger, reaching for support and creating tangible memories, you'll realize that death is a part of life and that you did indeed conceive a wonderful little miracle, but he or she could not stay for whatever the reason. Coming to peace with your loss is also coming to peace with yourself. It's okay to say it... I had a child-My child died-My child passed away-I still have my child in my heart-And that makes me happy. ... and it’s okay to get ready, prepared, and excited for another baby on the way.


Loving a new child does not mean forgetting or abandoning the baby you lost- it means you are moving to a place where it is okay to smile and laugh again, with the utmost respect and love. Your strength to go on is not being disloyal to your child, it is being appreciative of the gifts he or she gave you.

With the coming of a new child, you may have a roller coaster ride of emotions. You may feel anger, fear, anxiousness, immense joy, or denial. Acknowledging, discussing and accepting these feelings are the best way to overcome the grief and prepare for your new child. Pretending that you never lost a child and that this is your first pregnancy is a natural defense to protect yourself from sadness and give you a brief moment of joy while living in a memory, but in the long run, hiding and pretending will give way to reality.

Addressing the facts and coming to this resolution allows blame and depression to fade away. You can still feel sad- you will always feel sad, but you can accept that your child is no longer with you. You can accept that his or her life, as short as it was, had a meaning and made a mark on your life. You can accept that you have another baby on the way and begin to enjoy the developing life of your new child with joy, excitement and anticipation. Remember you are always a mom and loving both babies won’t dilute the intensity. Love multiplies, it never divides.

Submitted by Jill from NorthMetroDCMommies.  Originally posted on the NorthMetroDCMommies Blog.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My Lips are Lovin' Me!!


When I made my first "homemade product" over a year ago. I was such a consumer. It wasn't quality if I didn't buy it right? I was just looking to be frugal. Wrong! Instead of frugal, I am making high quality products for pennies compared to store bought

Recently the make-my-own bug has bitten me. Renee over at FIMBY has been motivating me for several months now...and so after loving my laundry soap, then deodorant (will never buy Secret again), followed by my homemade soap which is curing right now awaiting my Mother's Day. I have yet again made something I will never go back to buying! My lips are in L.O.V.E.

I must give Renee the credit for the recipe. I am still learning, but the more I make my own, the more I am branching out to create my own.

I think the hardest part of making my own products is actually gathering the supplies. In this case most of my ingredients came from my local organic health store. Once I have them on hand, it takes no time at all to be reaping the benefits of my own goods.
A few of you have asked where I got my supplies, so I noted it for you. I am sure you could get it online too.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 oz. (approx. 3 tsp.) grated or roughly chopped beeswax (local organic Co-operative)
  • 1 oz. (approx. 6 tsp.) coconut oil (local organic Co-operative)
  • 1 1/2 tsp. lanolin (Left over from Breast feeding my babes)
  • 3/4 tsp. vitamin E (I had capsules in my cabinet and poked holes in them to add up)
  • 2 tsp. hard honey (local organic Co-operative)
  • 3/4 tsp. peppermint essential oil (local organic Co-operative)


Assemble what you need:
This actually takes the longest, the making is a breeze!



Grate the beeswax and melt with the coconut oil, Lanolin, and Vitamin E. It was the consistency of vegetable oil when melted completely.

Second add the Peppermint extract and Raw honey (some know it as hard honey). If you are buying it new for this purpose I would scrape the top and use for something else. Particles don't break down well.



Mixing the peppermint extract and Peppermint was tricky to incorporate. You have to be really fast. I started with a wooden dowel but quickly moved to a rubber spatula which worked so much better for me.
I did have to reheat some to pour it in. I do not prefer the tubes, as much as the round containers. It goes on so smooth and the peppermint is yummy and tingly.

The best part of making my own, is there is always plenty to share with others. I love being able to pass some on to family and friends to enjoy as well.

Try it for yourself and let me know how you like the recipe. If I can do this you you definitely can do this!


Submitted by Elizabeth from NorthMetroDCMommies.  Originally published on The Whimsical Housewife on 4/28/11.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Everyone Deserves a Second Chance!

The Mommies Network would like to thank everyone who participated in the National Auction! Twenty-five percent of the proceeds from the auction will go to support Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. The remaining 75 percent of funds raised will be used to further The Mommies Network mission to provide a safe, secure, FREE place for mothers to find support and encouragement from other mothers and to empower them to be better women, parents, and community leaders.
 
The Mommies Network National Auction received a number of last-minute donations! These new items, along with some previously listed, will go up for sale in a limited-time Second Chance Auction! Get your shop on Sept. 5–11 on the National Forum!
Click here to shop today!
Friday, September 2, 2011

Time Out for Style

A common complaint of many mothers is the daily struggle of what to wear. Most mothers express exasperation that they dress too casually, and some say, sloppily. Many mothers do not have the time in their busy schedules to devote to finding appropriate and attractive clothing.
Help can be found with a wardrobe consultant who will review your closet, assist you in determining your clothing needs, provide shopping assistance, and organize your closet.


If you find that you stand in front of your closet full of clothes and have nothing to wear, I recommend that you find someone to watch the children for a half day and devote it to reviewing
the clothing in your closet. Put on some music of your choice and pop open a Diet Coke or have a glass of wine if you're feeling more adventuresome. You'll need to try on everything, unless by sight you find that an item is too worn, stained, or a size that you haven't seen for awhile.

Once you try on the remaining clothing ask yourself the following questions:
1. Does it fit?
2. Does the color suit me?
3. When was the last time I wore this?
4. Does this fit into my current life situation? (i.e. a stay-at-home mom doesn't need a closet full
of power suits);and,
5. Do I like it? (can I run into an old boyfriend and feel attractive?).

Items that don't meet the above criteria can be donated to a charity. Please make sure that the item is in good condition; the rule is to only donate what you would consider buying. Items with tags still attached can be sold on eBay or at a consignment shop. The balance of the items can be
tossed or recycled for your "rag bag."

Most women need the following for a casual winter wardrobe:
1. Jeans in a darker wash;
2. A pair of black pants. The current style recalling Audrey Hepburn looks good on most women
and can be dressed up or down. I recommend that you have several pairs so that when one pair is
in the wash, you have another to wear;
3. A pair of corduroy pants in a boot cut style;
4. A few sweaters in a classic style. I happen to like the J Crew Wesley cable style in the v-neck
so you can layer a blouse or t-shirt under. Plus, they are really soft and wear well;
5. A pair of short boots to wear under your jeans and pants;
6. A pair of flat shoes to wear with your black pants. Try black or an animal print for more style;
7. T-shirts in white and other colors that you like. The Old Navy ones are a terrific value;
8. A sweater coat - a Fair Isle type weave will add pop to your pants and jeans. Also, it doesn't
get that cold in Richmond, and, since we spend most of our days in cars, a heavy coat isn't needed for most days; and,
9. A "real" winter coat for colder days.

That's all you need. I find that the more choices women have, the harder it is to decide what to wear. Pare down and you'll find that you are more confident and ready to face the world!
The best part of the above list is that you can order these by catalog or on the internet. This is my favorite way to shop because I can try the clothing on at my own pace and match them to my existing pieces. No need to drag a 2 and 4 year old through the mall!
Now you need to organize your closet. Take out anything that isn't clothing related. Find a new place for Christmas paper, sport equipment, and toys. When you're doing this it's a great time to streamline your home. Make sure that you are using the same style of hanger; it takes up less rod space. I like the plastic "jewel" style hanger that you find in department stores. You should also buy a few shoe boxes and some baskets to put belts and scarves in. You can get these items at Target for a reasonable price.

Originally posted on RichmondMommies

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