Are you a mom that makes regular me-time for herself? Do you take breaks to breathe deeply, forget about your cares and indulge yourself in a favorite activity? I know I am not. There are only so many hours in the day, and some things just have higher priority than me taking breaks, this has been my excuse. However, once in a while something happens that reminds me how important it is to make time to take care of my own well-being. This is going to be a long-winded post about one of those times

I still remember telling a colleague at work about 5 years ago how good my immune system must be because I rarely get sick. One cold in three years kind of rare. My colleague smiled astutely and shook his head, then remarked that that was about to change very soon. "Wait till your kid is a little older." Back then my first child N was only a few months old and had not even started daycare. N was being taken care of at home by my mom while I went at work. He hadn't had a single cold or stomach bug yet. But all that changed as soon as he started daycare. My colleague, who had two older children of his own, could not have been more correct. Every couple of weeks, N would get sick with whatever was the latest bug going around at his daycare. And most of the time, I would get sick too. It seemed like at least one person in our home was sick at any given time. Apparently my immune system was not all that superior after all.

After the birth of my second child A, our financial situation finally afforded me the luxury of taking a few years off to spend time at home with the children. Boy, was I in for some surprises with being a full-time mother at home! Sometimes I miss the drive to work - a time when I do not have to do anything for anyone and can just listen to the radio or my music. Sometimes I miss wearing clothes that have no tell-tale stains on them. Sometimes I miss going to the bathroom all by myself, like I used to at work; no one yelling through the door or, worse still, standing next to me and chattering away as though they haven't noticed I'm sitting on the toilet. But what I do not miss at all are the slew of colds, ear infections, stomach bugs, etc. Sure there are challenges in motherhood. But I find myself so much better able to meet those challenges and enjoy motherhood when I am not sick all the time.

It felt like a painful flashback when recently little A and I came down with a stomach bug. Right on cue, N and hubby came down with colds at that time. As if this were not fun enough, we played relay and right after recovering from our respective stomach bugs, A and I contracted colds, mine much worse than hers. And at the same time, N and hubby who had just recovered from their colds, came down with - you guessed right - stomach bugs! It was a miserable two weeks and horror of horrors, it all happened right before our weeklong vacation, which we had planned quite some time ago. Things were not looking good and we even considered canceling or postponing our vacation plans. Miraculously, though, with 2 days to spare, all the stomach bugs were finally gone. As long as nobody was throwing up all the time or sitting in the loo frequently, we could still drive down to Myrtle Beach. I totally ignored that I still had a terrible cold and went anyway.

I am one of those people that believe in giving my body the right nutrition to heal itself. When I go grocery shopping, 80% of my cart is filled with produce. The checkout clerks at my local Kroger joke about how I put their produce recognition skills to the test. So I was not hoping for a speedy recovery, what with a week of eating out. The air-conditioning on the drive to Myrtle Beach wasn't helping my sinuses either. My only hope was that the kids would be sufficiently busy and happy with minimal effort on my part. I would be able to curl up under the covers and do nothing.

Once at our destination, I quickly got rid of everyone...packing them off to the beach. But instead of lying down, I sat on the balcony, watching the waves inhaling the ocean air. (Besides, we had paid quite a premium for staying oceanfront and being the practical person I am, I wasn't going to let that go to waste.) It had been raining earlier and it was still cloudy. As I sat and watched wave after wave hitting the shore, the clouds began to clear and the sun came out. My sick and miserable feelings also began to clear away and I felt really happy and invigorated. I changed into my swimsuit, slathered on sunscreen and strolled down to the beach. The tide was coming in and there was a long stretch of shallow water. I could see people standing waist-deep close to the line where the waves crested with white foam. I waded in, only ankle deep at first, digging my feet in and feeling the sand wash away from between my toes with each receding wave. The water was quite warm. It felt so good and so refreshing. The kids were hanging out here, under hubby's supervision. So I walked further in, rocking and bouncing with each wave. Looking out at the expanse of sky and water stretching all the way to the horizon, all my day-to-day concerns - the constant battle against the clutter of toys, why A was still not fully potty-trained at three, where I was going to find the perfect daycare, mother-in-law's impending visit - ceased to be. In the grander scheme of things, none of it mattered. The toys would get picked up, or not. The dishes would get cleaned, or stay piled in the sink for another day. A would eventually get potty-trained, at three or at three-and-a-half. The sky would still be blue, the waves would still roll and foam and crash onto the shore, the tide would still rise and ebb with the moon. My mind was completely blank, free of all worries. And I felt truly relaxed. I do not know how long I stayed in the ocean. I got out only when I started feeling hungry. And wonder of wonders, my miserable cold seemed to be gone! It was going to be a great vacation, I could tell.

I want to model for my children the things I want them to learn. One of the most important of those things is to live healthy. After all, that is one reason why I am staying home with them for a few years, isn't it? Relaxation, both physical and mental, is a very big part of a healthy life. One I have often ignored. I resolve to try and do more of it. For myself, and for my children.

Submitted by Swaha, member of TriangleMommies.  Originally published on the TriangleMommies Blog August 8, 2011.

My mom visited this past week (a whole blog on its own I assure you) and of course, when the ‘rents visit, we try and do something extra throughout the week for fun. One of the activities we did this week was to go bowling. Now bowling sounds like a safe, friendly thing to do with kids. I thought so. I mean, I used to take Zavi once in a while when we lived back in Mass and we never had an issue. So what could possibly go wrong bowling with 2 more kids added in and a grandmother? Oh. My. God.

To anyone who may be reading this and was at the bowling alley the same time we were, I am so sorry. I hope Ashe did not erase your computerized game thingy. I tried to keep him away, I really did. But that bugger is fast!

We got the Citi guide coupon book a few weeks ago and I saw you could get one game free of bowling. So on Zavi's early release day from school we piled into the car and drove to the local bowling alley. The older boys were excited, Soren was passed out in a drunken stupor, and my mom and I had high hopes. Bowling! Yay! Fun! Good times!!! We park the ginormous minivan (I'm getting better at parking that monster!) unload the kids in less than 5 minutes (a new record!) and head on in. And that’s where all hell broke loose.

You see, Ashe hates loud noises. He went to the fireworks this past July 4th and freaked out. I mean FREAKED! The whole time he sobbed yelling "FIREWORKS ALL DONE ALL DONE DADDY FIREWORKS ALL DONE" for the entirety of it. Stupid me, I didn’t even think that the sounds of bowling would mirror that of fireworks. Crap. And it’s dark in there with the black lights going, the music bass thumping and vibrating the floor. Ashe took 2 steps in and froze like a deer caught in headlights. And then started shaking. And I couldn’t take him home. J was working on a huge project and I had promised Zavi we would do this. He had been looking forward to this for weeks with Grammy. So I gave the car seat with Soren in it to Grammy, picked up Ashe, and cuddled/dragged him to get our shoes and lane. I had this thought that maybe I could get him used to it in time and he would be ok. I kept whispering "its ok honey it’s not fireworks (Yeah can I get shoes in size 8 kids, 13 kids...) Mommy’s here I won’t let you go (adult size in 8 and 10? Lane 4? Great...) I promise you are safe and ok, it’s not fireworks, no we can’t go back to the van sweetie (Here's my card.... can you hold the top so I can sign?... thanks) sweetie stop kicking Mommy that hurts...no I won’t put you down..."

After finally hauling 4 pairs of shoes and a squirming screeching two year old to our lane, waaaaay on the other end of the alley, I tossed shoes at Grammy and Zavi and took Ashe toward the back. Holding him I calmly told him how much fun bowling is, how he gets to choose a few really cool balls, and try to knock down things without getting yelled at. It took about 10 minutes of constant soothing whispers with a few thrown out yells to Zavi (Hang ON! I'll get the computer set up in a minute... ask Grammy...oh Grammy you don’t know how to do it? Dammit... ok hang ON!) until I could get Ashe to accept sitting on my lap closer to the bowling lanes. While Zavi went searching for the perfect ball, and Grammy took forever putting her shoes on, I tried figuring out the technological savvy computer to set up our game with a squirming two year old clinging to me like we were going down with the Titanic.

So after working the computer one handed, and everyone is ready to go we start bowling. Zavi goes first. And he does pretty darn well (with the bumpers on). Next up is Grammy. She also bowls well (with the bumpers on). Then it's Ashes turn. I ask him if he wants to roll the ball and he says YES so I stand up. To which point he grabs my shirt and clings so hard I’m afraid my cleavage and then some is apparent for all to see. Hauling him up and my shirt back into place, I waddle over to the bowling ball stand and ask him which color he wants. He points to a blue one, of course, 36 pounds. I pick it up with Ashe still stuck stronger than superglue to me, and slowly make my way to our lane. I put the ball down, wrestle to get his chubby STRONG fingers off my shirt, and gently show him how to roll the ball. He screams, throws himself on the floor and begins to cry. I sit down next to him; ask him if he wants to play. After a minute he agrees, wipes the tears from his eyes, and allows me to help him. We get a good roll going and he stares fascinated as the bowl rolls towards the pins, taking eons to make it there. But they go down and his face lights up and......

He’s hooked.

By our 6th round, Ashe has taken over my game, Grammys game, and his own. We found a child roller which helps little kids roll the balls down better. He would whip it into place, point at me to put his ball down, then shove it hard (rolling over my fingers a few times...OUCH!) and jump up and down screaming for joy. When it was Zavi’s turn, he would run to any computer in sight and start jabbing buttons (Sorry!!!!) If he wasn’t doing that he was running to put his head by the bowling stand where the used balls were racing back. I swear he came close to having three concussions in 15 minutes, despite my frequent attempts at keeping him far away from the darn thing. And Soren, my precious baby, was an angel. He slept for almost the entire thing. If he was fussy I just think I would have lost my mind.

Walking out afterwards, everyone was in high spirits. Except for me. I was happy the boys had a ball in the end (no pun intended) but all I could contemplate at that moment was how much tequila I had left in the freezer and how big of a margarita I wanted. I figured I earned it and then some.

Submitted by Brittany (Rhaven) of TriangleMommies.  Originally posted August 23, 2009 on Suburban Rebel Mom.

Ladies, you all know what I am talking about when I utter these two nasty little words: “mommy guilt.” We all may have been prepared with the perfect nurseries, perfect birth plans, perfect diapers, and even perfect ideas of what we thought motherhood would be like. But we could never have prepared ourselves for the tremendous feelings of guilt that come along with the most important job on Earth. It begins almost as soon as we see the infamous two pink lines on the pregnancy test. We start to analyze each bite of food that we put into our mouths, making the right doctor appointments, getting the right baby gear. However, those guilty feelings of slipping a little extra chocolate as we pat our increasingly round bellies does not compare to the guilt after the babies arrive.

It doesn’t set in right away. In the early days, we are focused on the basics of newborn care and recovering from the birth. It starts to lurk as some start to plan for returning to work and leaving that most precious child with someone who doesn’t love them as much as we do. The thought is enough to rip your heart out. We didn’t expect it to be so difficult. Gulp. The guilt doesn’t go away after the baby stage either. In fact, it grows and gets worse. Why didn’t any of the countless parenting books and articles we read prepare us for it?! Then we have toddlers, which sometimes can be very trying to even the patience of Mother Theresa. We yell, and then wonder if we have warped them for life. We actually purposefully put them in front of the TV so that we can get through paying the bills and the house will stay moderately clean. Then we leave them there because we were so productive that we think we can just squeeze in a few more chores before breaking their zoned-out eye lock on the boob tube. Gasp. Just the thing we never, never, never thought we would ever do. We even used to judge those who did. And then we do it again the next week when we have to tackle the laundry. Horror of horrors.

Mommies, we must give ourselves a break. After all, maybe a gluttonous amount of TV now, will help them self regulate their own TV viewing later in life. Maybe that extra pregnancy chocolate helped us get enough calories to help grow those perfect, tiny fingernails. Perhaps there will be a recall on the more expensive car-seat with the better safety review and we will feel victorious for choosing the less pricey model. Did we love those sweet little people, though? Did we hug them and squeeze them? Yes! Today and every day. Isn’t that the most important thing anyway: that they feel loved? After all, helping our children feel loved deeply is the most perfect thing we can do. Even if we do it imperfectly from time to time along the way. Let us tenderly kiss them goodnight tonight and collectively, we will breathe a sigh of relief.

Originally published on ChesapeakeMommies.com

As summer vacation begins for the traditional calendar schools, kids are excited about the long days of playing with friends, going to camps and taking family vacations. Summer vacation is time for having fun and relaxing after a long school year. But as parents, we need to remember to keep our kids' brains active to prevent the so-called "summer slide," that loss of lessons learned, the slip backwards in reading and other academic areas that occurs for many children during the long summer break.

Here are 10 Tips to Prevent the Summer Slide:

1. Read every day. Most teachers require kids to read for 10 to 30 minutes every day during the school year. Don't let your kids get out of this reading habit during the summer. Encourage them to continue to read every day. And for those who have required summer reading lists, make sure they find time to read books they WANT to read as well, so reading doesn't become a dreaded chore. Keep them reading and keep them happy!

2. Sign up for a reading challenge. Book stores, libraries and various online resources, including Scholastic.com, host reading challenges during the summer where kids are encouraged to track their reading ~ either the minutes read or the actual books read ~ throughout the summer. Some even provide rewards such as free books to participants, which can give kids the extra motivation they need to read.

3. Read aloud to your kids ~ or at least let them see you reading. Spend time reading aloud to your kids. This can expose them to more complex stories that they aren't yet able to read themselves. It introduces new vocabulary and different types of literature. If your kids aren't interested in listening to you read aloud, make time to sit together and read silently to yourselves so they can see the enjoyment you get from reading.

4. Start a journal or diary. To keep their writing skills going throughout the summer, encourage your kids to write in a journal or diary about their summer activities. If you go to the zoo, suggest they write about it. If your child is more creative, have them make up their own stories, or work with them to create a scrapbook in which they write and choose pictures to include. Find ways to make writing fun.

5. Play games as a family. Board games, card games and yard games all offer kids an opportunity to think, build strategies, and even hone their math or reading skills. Scrabble helps with spelling. Monopoly helps with math. Uno helps with developing strategies, as well as color and number recognition for younger kids. Games offer a great way for the family to come together while discreetly learning too.

6. Take a trip to a museum. Visiting museums is a great activity for the whole family. Many museums are now set up with hands-on activities for kids, and engaging programs that you can attend. Kids can learn about art, animals, science, history and many other topics, depending on which museums you choose. Give your kids the power to choose one that interests them.

7. Track the weather. How many sunny days will you have this summer? How many rainy days? When will humidity be the highest? Make some predictions and then track the weather to see if you're right. Kids can build their observation skills, and learn about weather, graphing, patterns and predictions by tracking the weather throughout the summer.

8. Explore nature. Science lessons don't have to stop just because school is out. Kids can discover all sorts of things about animals, plants and the earth in your own backyard. Get outside and flip a rock to discover what's living underneath. Observe the types of birds that live in your yard. Plant a garden or some flowers and have the kids take care of them. There are many science lessons to learn outside.

9. Stay healthy. Keep the physical education and health lessons going this summer. Get your kids outside every day to ride bikes, go swimming, play sports or just take a walk. Keep them moving and staying active. And spend time this summer learning about healthy foods. Visit the local farmers' market, and try some new fresh vegetables and fruits that are native to your area. Talk to your kids about healthy eating.

10. Plan a vacation. Most families take some sort of summer vacation, whether it's for one night or an entire month. Get the kids involved in planning this year. Show them your vacation budget, and talk about the cost of gas or airline tickets. Have them map the route you'll take, and calculate time and distance. Involve them in planning your itinerary. Let them pack their own things based on the number of days and nights you'll be away. There are many lessons to learn in planning a vacation.

All of these activities keep your kids' brains going, engaging them in thinking, calculating, reading, interpreting and learning. By keeping their bodies and minds strong throughout the summer, they will be better prepared when the new school year begins.

Originally posted by Julie on TriangleMommies.blogspot.com, 6/23/11