My husband, Adam, left this morning for a conference in Houston, TX.  He's gone to conferences before, but this is the first one since Rowan was born.  I always have had a lot of respect for single parents, when he's gone that respect just grows and grows.  Each conference he's gone to has presented me with new and different challenges as a parent.  The first conference Kara was just a year old and she got her first big illness.  I was unable to get much sleep or food.  All she wanted was to lay on my lap and be held.  Going to the bathroom was an adventure: have you ever tried to hitch your pants up when your child is strapped to you and throwing up at the same time?  Other conferences I've had the joys of explaining to Kara why her dad isn't there and why he wasn't going to be home for x days.   I got quite skilled at keeping her distracted from his absence.  This time though I am presented with 2 new challenges.  The first being that I now have two children, one that is awake frequently during the night and needs much of my attention (and body).  The second is one I had not thought of before.

How do you express emotions around your children?  Prior to Kara when Adam would go to a conference I would have cried a bit, gone home, eaten junk food and watched TV, read some books, done a puzzle and stayed up way past my bedtime.  Now I know better than to spend my time watching TV, staying up late and eating junk food.  I'm sure I'll read plenty of books and may do some puzzles. Granted the books may not be more complicated than naming dinosaurs and the puzzles will have less than 50 pieces.  But what to do about the desire to cry?  Do I show Kara how sad I am that her dad has left?  Do I let her see how worried I am about how our time alone will go and his safety?  Or do I keep a stiff upper lip and keep on going as if nothing has changed?  If I don't express my emotions, in a healthy way that is, am I teaching Kara to not acknowledge her own emotions?  Does that teach her to be a stoic and afraid of emotions?  If I show her the tears does that then lead her to fear and worry when she shouldn't have that burden?  Will she feel she needs to take care of me since I am sad?  This also leads me to examine how we deal with Kara's tantrums and other outbursts of emotion.  Right now we ask her to calm down and say that once she is calm we can talk about what is bothering her. But does that teach her that she shouldn't express the emotion?  Would it be better to say "wow, you are really sad/angry/upset.  Let's take a moment to be that way, then we can calm down and talk about what has made you feel that way"?  We do try to acknowledge the emotion by saying "you sound really sad", but is that enough?  Do we need to give her more space to feel and express the emotion?  I want to raise children that are not afraid of their emotions and can express them in a healthy way.  I don't want them learning to stuff their feelings down or to think that it's not ok to let others know how they are feeling.  Emotions can be powerful and influence our thinking more than we often realize or admit.  To have a healthy relationship with emotions would allow them to recognize, feel, and then move on past the emotions so they do not influence their decisions excessively.  The question is- how to achieve that.

Submitted by Heidi-rose Creuzinger, member of NorthMetroDCMommies.  Heidi-rose blogs at Terror at 3 Feet & Rising.

Blackberry Jam

Ingredients:
3 Cups Blackberries
2 Cups Water   
1 Package Powdered fruit pectin
5 Cups Sugar

Cooking Instructions:
Crush fruit thoroughly. Add water and fruit pectin. Stir until pectin is dissolved. Heat to boiling. Boil 5-10 minutes. Add sugar. Stir until dissolved. Boil 3-5 minutes, stirring frequently, or until thick.


Submitted by a member to The Mommies Network recipe database

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What if that place offered encouragement to mommies in specific situations, such as stay-at-home, work-at-home, and military mommies?

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Looking for someone to chat with about Twilight and other vamp books? Check out our "Everything Vamps" subforum in Books, Movies, & Entertainment. Are you a stay-at-home, campus, or military mommy looking for a friend? Talk with those in your situation in one of the Our Work subforums. Do you have a child with special needs and desire interaction with other mothers who are dealing with a specific condition? We have subforums related to specific diagnoses in Our Kids With Special Needs.

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How Well Do You Know Your Neighbors?

If you grew up in the kind of neighborhood I did, then you remember people sitting out on their front porches in the evenings, kids playing out in the neighbors yard until it was too dark to see and the mad rush to the ice cream truck when that little jingle was first heard on the street.

Nowadays, that scene is almost non-existent. Many parents are working late, then have to pick up the kids from their day care provider and rush home to make dinner, spend a little quality time with the kids and then off to bed to start all over again. Parents are worried that the streets aren't safe. People drive everywhere, and the most you see someone is when you are both getting into your car at the same time.

There are many benefits to having a close relationship with your neighbors. Research shows that neighborhoods where people know each other by name and are connected to one another have lower crime rates. It has even been shown that kids who live in tight knit communities do better in school.

Maybe it is time for us to bring back the days of yesterday, and get to know our neighbors. One way you can do this is by making a neighborhood directory. Send a letter (or even better, deliver it in person) asking your neighbors if they would like to be included in a neighborhood directory. A sample letter can be found here. Have them complete a form that provides you with information to put in the directory. A sample form can be found here. Once you have collected the completed forms, print a directory and distribute it to your neighbors. You can also email the directory to them to save on paper costs.

Another idea is to start a website for your neighborhood. You can get a free website from Geocities (http://www.geocities.com) or Neighborhood Link (http://www.neighborhoodlink.com). You can put a calendar of events in your area on the site, or perhaps list the email addresses of the residents. A bulletin board can be used to post announcements or special needs.

What about an old-fashioned potluck dinner or backyard barbecue. Invite your neighbors and ask them to bring a covered dish or dessert to share! What a wonderful way to get to know the people in your neighborhood. You might enjoy it so much that you turn it into a monthly event!

In this day and age, it is even more critical that we know those who live around us. Our very safety might depend on it. But there is also so much joy to be found right in your backyard! A host of new friends (and babysitters!) can be found just a stone's throw away from your front door. And perhaps, all of your neighbors are just sitting there waiting for you to make it all happen!

Originally posted on CharlotteMommies.com

So, I need to talk to you about something very important. And yes, it has everything to do with books. I need to know how you're reading these days. Are you reading hard copies of your books - as you always have and always will? Hardbacks. Paperbacks. Mass Market copies that fit in the smallest bags you own?

Or have you gone to the technological side and got yourself a Nook or a Kindle? Any sort of eReader at all?

I can't decide. I love my books. But believe me, I'd have a lot more space in various rooms of my home if I had less of them. And I'd never have to leave my house to buy the latest title that sparks my interest. AND I could carry more than one book at a time with me when I travel (not that that's frequent or anything - but still) and switch it around if I wanted to without worrying.

And no more tearing ads out of magazines to create bookmarks. That would be nice. You know the kind? The little tear outs that are in every magazine? Oh, and magazines! I could subscribe to more and not worry about how quickly I read them and whether or not I'll be able to recycle all those pages well enough to feel a little bit greener.

But I would totally miss the page by page feel. I would totally miss how a book feels in my hands. The weight of it. The smell of it, even. I would miss living in the bookstore like I normally do. More than once a month we head there to take our daughter to play with the trains at Barnes and Noble.

But see, there's another concern. Kindle or Nook? I live off Barnes and Noble, ALWAYS. But I am saving the Amazon giftcards that I have been getting through Swagbucks so I can buy one [a Kindle] for practically nothing. Sort of.

So what do I do? What did you do?

Fill me in on why you switched to an eReader, or why you think you never will. And I'll just keep reading. And reading. And - well - you get the idea!

Happy Reading -- however you do it!

Originally posted on the TriangleMommies blog on 5/7/11
Andrea is a SAHM who blogs about her everyday life, motherhood and more over at http://goodgirlgoneredneck.blogspot.com

Basil Mayo

Ingredients:
1 Cups Mayo (Best Foods or the like)
1/4 Cup Chopped, Fresh Basil
Juice of half a lemon
1 tsp Lemon Zest
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste

Cooking Instructions:
Incorporate all ingredients into Mayo, whisk until smooth.

Serving Suggestions:
For Sandwhiches or dip for French Fries!

Additional Comments:
For Dried basil, 2 Tablespoons

Submitted to The Mommies Network recipe database by "Lyndsey"